As I was hurrying into the grocery store, I noticed an elderly lady standing between the rows of parked cars with a perplexed look on her face. I slowed my pace and was about to ask if she needed some help, when a couple with two young children approached her. A few seconds later she was giving a description of her “lost” car. Soon the mom called out, “There’s your car – it’s in the next aisle.” This compassionate family accompanied the lady to her car and loaded her groceries into the back seat. Just watching this simple act of kindness put a smile on my face. 

One of my favorite characteristics of Southerners is their propensity for showing kindness: slowing down to permit a car to switch lanes in front of you, instead of speeding up and honking the horn; holding the elevator door for the couple hurrying to get in and then asking, “Which floor?” before pressing the corresponding button; offering to collect your neighbors’ mail when they are on vacation.

Of course, there are kind people everywhere, but it is one of our deep-seated traits. When our family moved to Brooklyn, New York in 1987, I discovered that extending kindness is not always appreciated. While standing in line at a neighborhood grocery with an overflowing cart, I noticed a woman behind me who held only a quart of milk and a loaf of bread. When I offered to let her cut in front of me, she eyed me suspiciously, then rushed off to wait in an even longer line. 

That episode aside, most acts of kindness are generally welcomed. There are benefits for both the giver and the receiver. Showing kindness can spark feelings of emotional wellbeing and lift up a discouraged spirit. Scientific research has concluded that being on either end of a kind act is good for you and can reduce stress. 

Some of the physiological benefits that result from being kind include an increase in energy and immune system performance; enhanced cognitive function; lower heart rate; a balance in cortisol levels which reduces stress; and the prospect of a longer and more satisfying life. Not a bad return for replacing a grocery cart for someone walking with a cane or reaching an item on the top shelf for someone in a wheelchair. 

In case you ever wondered, kindness is not a new attribute. Although performing “random acts of kindness” may seem to many to be a twenty-first century idea promoted by Facebook, being kind has been around since the beginning of time. In the book of Genesis, Abraham promised Abimelek he would reciprocate the kindness that had been shown to him.

Throughout the Old Testament, kindness is a trait that bestowed and secured blessings. The prostitute Rahab assured the safety of her family when she was kind to the spies. Boaz was kind to Ruth and she became his wife. All three are listed in the genealogy of Christ. In the New Testament, we are admonished to be kind to one another. Kindness is one of the nine fruit of the Spirit and Paul instructs, “clothe yourself” with kindness.

One of my favorite scriptures to teach my grandsons (and occasionally quote to my husband) is Proverbs 19:22a, paraphrased in these words in the Living Bible: Kindness makes a man attractive.  And for the ladies, Proverbs 31:26 describes the virtuous woman this way: When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule for everything she says. 

Although kindness has been encouraged and celebrated throughout history, to be sure, reminding people to be kind – even designating special days to carry out purposeful kind acts – is a fine idea. 

Take a minute and think about the last time you performed a spontaneous act of kindness. Made you feel good, didn’t it? Probably put a smile on your face and a skip in your step. 

I want to encourage you to keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities to show kindness, especially to those who need assistance and those who provide assistance. Your act may be as simple as a big smile and friendly greeting; or as involved as providing a day of well-deserved respite care for a friend who is a full-time caregiver; or anything in between. Send a lovely card with a long personal note to a shut-in. Provide a delicious meal for a caregiver and her family. Mow a yard; plant some colorful mums in a neighbor’s flowerbed; offer to run an errand or drive someone to an appointment. 

If you feel really daring, ask a caregiver, “What can I do for you that would make your day easier?” and be willing to fulfill the request you get in response. You do not need to be too concerned about this proposal, because most caregivers are selfless and hesitant to express desires; you will probably need to prod them to respond. 

Showing kindness to our family, friends, neighbors and even strangers requires so little; but the benefits are abundant for both the giver and the receiver.