Hiring a caregiver
What do you do when a family member needs in-home care, and no one is available to fill the position? In most cases, this occurs when families are scattered, and no one lives close enough to become a full-time caregiver. There are several options. Move closer to the loved one or move the loved-one closer to you. Move the loved-one into a nursing facility. Everyone stays put and someone is hired to become a live-in caregiver. If round the clock care is required, this will probably involve hiring more than one person.
It is an awesome responsibility to choose the person who will provide care for a loved one. Recently, I was asked by a daughter how she should go about finding the right caregiver for her elderly, home-bound mother who is mentally aware. Here is my response.
Cautiously. You are selecting someone who will spend a great deal of time alone with your mother, unsupervised. It is imperative that you know whom you are getting. That may sound rather ominous, but the results of hiring the wrong person could range anywhere on the scale from difficult to disastrous.
There are some really lovely people who serve in this capacity – but just as in any profession – there are also some – that for a myriad of reasons – you would not choose to provide care for your loved one.
Whether you go through an agency or hire an individual on your own, you should consider the following as non-negotiable:
- Thoroughly check out at least three (more is better) references and confirm they are legitimate (not just family members).
- Require a criminal background check. You should also inquire about convictions for drug and alcohol offenses.
- If using an agency, choose one that is licensed and bonded.
- Conduct a thorough, in-person interview with prepared questions. Inform the prospective hire of your expectations and ask for feedback; listen carefully and trust your gut.
- Allow time for the person and your mother to interact and closely observe your mother’s reactions.
Before placing your mother in someone’s care, make sure your mother understands that she is to let you know if ANYTHING occurs that troubles her. Sometimes, care recipients are hesitant to complain; ensure your mother that you expect her to inform you when she is made to feel uncomfortable by any words or actions of the caregiver.
Plan a monitoring system. Using an agency will help in this respect, but you should also take responsibility. Call your mother frequently and at various times. Try to arrange to have a neighbor or friend look in on your mom – again at various times and without previous announcement.
“What?” you say. “What if the timing is inconvenient?”
“For whom?” I would ask. A visit from a friend or neighbor should always be “convenient” for a hired caregiver. The only exception would be if she is assisting with toileting or bathing etc.[1] However, I would hear alarm bells if every time I visited, the caregiver made excuses for not allowing me in. The idea is to drop in unexpectedly. Ask these emissaries to watch for signs of mistreatment or neglect and report them immediately to you. It will then be your responsibility to follow-up and take any needed action.
When the care recipient has dementia or is not able to self-report on the care she is receiving, the situation becomes much more difficult. I think I would consider video monitoring in these circumstances.
I hope these suggestions will help you to make a wise decision. Researchers estimate that as many as ten percent of seniors receiving care are abused. Even one senior being mistreated by a caregiver is too many. Family members must be vigilant in choosing who will provide care and in monitoring during care.
Comma