Vacation or not?
It was the winter of ’95, and we were “urban missionaries” in Brooklyn, New York. Our daughter Rachel had been living in North Carolina almost five months – first as my mom’s caregiver during her last few months of life, and then to ease my dad’s adjustment to living without his wife of sixty years. The closer it got to Christmas, the more I longed to have my daughter home…and then I conceived the idea that she should bring Daddy with her. At eighty-four, he was still in good physical health and the encroaching signs of Alzheimer’s were minimal. It took some persuading of my sisters, but they finally agreed to let him make the trip. Two weeks before Christmas, Randy drove me and our other three children to Pennsylvania Station in Manhattan to meet Daddy and Rachel as they disembarked from the sleek Amtrak car. Daddy had not only endured the ten-hour trip; he had thoroughly enjoyed his first train ride. According to Rachel, the crew had given him the royal treatment.
The clock had almost struck miodnight – way past a farmer’s bedtime – when we arrived back at our apartment on a busy Brooklyn street. Daddy must have been excited, as he stayed awake until two in the morning, talking about the trip. He finally dozed off, but awoke at 4 a.m. asking, “Why are all these cars driving on Boyd Wright Road?” (That’s the road that bears his name and on which he had lived most of his life.)
The next two weeks we went on the town, showing Daddy the sites from the decked-out- for-Christmas Rockefeller Center to the imposing and inspiring Statue of Liberty. He appeared to thoroughly enjoy every moment, although I suspect I was the one who stored the most memories in my heart.
A little reminiscing, there…but my thoughts today are on vacations and the elderly. Should you or shouldn’t you? Sometimes we relegate seniors, especially ones with medical problems, to staying at home. Of course, caregivers need and deserve a vacation from their responsibilities, but a mini-vacation or weekend trip for you and your charge may be just what the doctor ordered. That is the first guideline for travel with your loved one: check with the doctor to see if there are physical or mental limitations that would prohibit travel. Once you get the green light, if feasible, involve Mom or Dad in the planning stage. Anticipating a trip can be almost as much fun as actually taking one. Should you choose the beach or the mountains or maybe the short-drive to a quintessential Southern city such as Danville, Virginia? Consider interests and preferences along with endurance levels and accessibility when selecting a destination. When I first saw the steep escalators at Penn Station, I panicked, imagining Daddy tumbling backwards. Then my husband pointed out the optional elevators. Accommodations for people with disabilities are readily available in most public places. If you do not see what you need, ask. My experience has been that consummate employees go out of their way to serve seniors and ensure their safety and comfort.
Keep in mind that some elders – especially those who require a structured routine or are easily stressed – are not good candidates for travel. Another important consideration is your own state of mind and physical condition. If you find yourself dreading – rather than looking forward to – a trip, it is probably best to stay home. On the other hand, a well-planned get-away can do a world of good for you and your loved one – not to mention providing the setting for special, life-long memories.