Randy and I have almost always had different sleep schedules – at least since after our honeymoon. He’s the early to bed (around 8:30), early to rise (um…depends) and I am the midnight (sometimes a little later) to 8 a.m. (sometimes a little later) snoozer. Working second shift for years didn’t help any; but honestly, I cannot imagine going to bed before eleven p.m.

Unfortunately, the difference leaves a period of about four hours of solitude for me in the evening. I read, do Sudoku puzzles, listen to Christian radio, call my sister in Ohio (that can take a big bite out of the four hours), or try to find something intellectually stimulating to watch on television (now, that is difficult.) A few weeks ago, I was checking out some movies on YouTube and came across one with a title that identified its subject as caregiving. I am not going to give the title because I found the movie abysmal, although I did glean a topic for today’s column.

LOST!  

What happens if your loved one with dementia gets lost? In the movie, the derelict son was left home with the father and fell into a drug-induced sleep. The father wandered out into the cold (some scenes had snow on the ground; others revealed green lawns – like I said – not well-made). People who saw him seemed not to discern he was disoriented, although his words and actions said otherwise. One man even helped him get on a city bus, then reminded him a few stops later to get off, though it was obvious he did not know where he was going. When the lost man approached a little girl, thinking it was his granddaughter, her Daddy pushed him away, knocking him into a light post and left him bleeding on the sidewalk. As fate would have it, a twelve-year old homeless girl rescued him and took care of him the next twenty-four hours (they slept outside under a bridge) until two other kids from his neighborhood saw him and arranged a rescue. I mention the twenty-four hours because that’s how long the police told the family they would have to wait after reporting him missing before they could start looking for him. That’s just plain crazy and is definitely not the protocol for anyone missing who has or is suspected of having dementia – at least not here in North Carolina. 

Before I tell you about the Silver Alert program in North Carolina, I want to make two pertinent comments:

A person with dementia should never be left alone in a home with someone who is not reliable. The son in the movie was not reliable, and the family should have known better.

Although you hope and pray your loved one never goes missing, be prepared! The best way to do this is to keep a current photo and identifying information (height, weight, color/style of hair, eye color, and any distinguishing physical characteristics). In an emergency, it may be difficult to recall this information, so writing it down and keeping it in a safe place can be a lifesaver. Always take mental note of what your loved one is wearing so you can add this to the written information when making a report to law enforcement. Just in case your recipient somehow gained access to car keys (and do try to prevent this), you should also keep identifying information – make, color, license plate number – readily available. 

Although you may never need to make a Silver Alert report, knowing the following information could be helpful to you or a fellow caregiver.

Because it is true that when an individual over the age of 18 who is in sound mental and physical health is usually not considered “missing” for at least 24 hours, the Silver Alert program was implemented to quickly locate anyone who suffers from dementia or other cognitive impairment who is reported missing to law enforcement.

That is the first step. If you have made a reasonable home and outdoor search and cannot locate you recipient, call 911 immediately and make clear that the person has dementia.

Local law enforcement will quickly investigate to determine if criteria has been met:

• The person is believed to be missing
• The person is believed to be suffering from some form of dementia or a disability that requires protection from potential abuse, physical harm, neglect, or exploitation
• A legal guardian has submitted a missing person’s report 

Law enforcement will then report the incident to the NC Center for Missing Persons, the only agency that can activate a Silver Alert. It does so only at the request of an investigating law enforcement agency, so contacting your local law enforcement as soon as possible is vital.

The Silver Alert program was designed to quickly disseminate identifying information so citizens in the affected area can keep their eyes open. Specific health information will not be disclosed to protect from potential abuse, harm, or exploitation. The program benefits from a cooperative effort between local and state law enforcement agencies and voluntary participation by radio and television broadcasters and the NC Department of Transportation. The first time I ever saw a Silver Alert, it was flashing on an overhead sign on the interstate.

Some other states have similar programs, so if you are not blessed to live in North Carolina, you should check out what is available in your state (or country).

I do hope you have safety measures in place – including reliable supervision – so you will never be faced with having to call 911 to report your loved one missing. Still, it is good to be prepared and know what to do if the unthinkable happens.