Many people who are reading this are not currently caregivers. Maybe they were in the past…or may be in the future…or some day they will need a caregiver. 

But some of you are caregivers. Right now. Already, you know you are facing a day that at times will be hectic; even when the activity slows down, your presence will still be required. Maybe a doctor’s visit is on the agenda or this is one of the three days in a week when you provide an actual shower (as opposed to a bed bath) for your loved one.  Perhaps she is not feeling well today and extra care and attention will be necessitated. It could be that he had a sleepless night, but instead of resting today, he is even more agitated than usual. 

As caregivers we take the good with the bad; the better with the worse. Often we have no control over a situation – except for our attitude and response. And, yes, sometimes, it is hard to control those as well.

If you are having one of those days – or even if your day has been calm so far (in which case this will be easier) – I invite you to steal away for a few minutes, pour yourself a cup of coffee or tea, and find encouragement in the thoughts I will share with you today.

Encouragement– the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope; cheering up, inspiration, motivation, stimulation, fortification, support, morale-boosting, heartening

My stated goal for Caregiver to Caregiver is “to provide information and encouragement for family caregivers.” I call the following ideas, “short and sweet interludes of revitalization that most caregivers can carve into their already overloaded agendas.” Doesn’t just reading those words encourage you? With a vision and a little planning, it is indeed possible to take a brief respite – even without leaving your home.

Because caregivers can be stubborn, I must preface these ideas with the reminder that you should never feel guilty about taking some time for yourself. Experiencing a change of scenery, even for a momentary interval, will make you a more effective caregiver and may avert burnout. Some of these diversions will require the assistance of family members or friends to watch over your loved one while you rejuvenate, but even when it is just the two of you at home alone, you can:

• withdraw to a quiet area of the house (where you can still hear if you are needed), get comfortable and read a few chapters of an engaging book
• listen to soothing music while skimming (or devouring) old love letters; I have discovered the category “Christian classical harp” on YouTube is beyond tranquil 
• enjoy viewing family photos of days gone by 
• peruse a catalog that showcases something that interests you – whether clothes, furniture, travel, books, tools or fruitcakes (well, maybe not fruitcakes)
• spend an hour (or less if that is what you have) lost in your favorite hobby – knitting, woodworking, writing, painting, baking, etc.
• utilize that foot massager you received last Christmas
• make a telephone call to an old friend and share the ups and downs of life
• ride an exercise bike or walk on a treadmill
• take a leisurely bath or shower and include time to groom and pamper yourself

If it concerns you to be out of earshot of your recipient while you allow yourself these mini-getaways, invest in a monitor that allows you to keep an ear (or even an eye) on someone in another room. 

If you are blessed to have a family member or friend who is willing to fill in for you while you take a break, add these possibilities:

• meet a friend for coffee or lunch (or breakfast or dinner)
• join a book club or Bible study group
• take a “fun” class at a community college or senior center
• roll down the windows, turn up the radio, and take a ride in the country (especially gratifying in the spring and autumn)
• attend an exercise class
• let someone else pamper you – hair salon, massage, manicure, pedicure
• spend quality time with other family members 
• attend a musical/sports activity with a grandchild
• visit a museum

Consider these ideas and contemplate other plans that popped into your head. Decide which ones you would most look forward to and enjoy and plan to pursue them on a regular basis. 

Now – for each of you who is not currently a caregiver but has stuck with me thus far – this is a good time to remind you to reach out to someone you know who is a full-time caregiver. What a blessing it would be if you offer your services to make these mini-retreats possible! Do not just say, “Let me know if I can ever do anything for you.” Here is an example of an approach you may want to use: 

“Mom, this Saturday evening I am coming over at four to give you time to get ready to go out to dinner with Aunt Dorothy – I’ve already talked to her. I’ll bring supper for Dad and stay with him until 9 p.m. When you arrive home, I’ll have Dad ready for bed. Enjoy!”

Realizing that you have put time and energy into planning an event will make it harder for the caregiver to turn you down – you know how they often balk when offered assistance – even when deep-down, they would love to take you up on your proposal.

Family and friends, help make these short and sweet interludes possible. Caregivers, recognize that taking advantage of these times will help to make you a healthier and happier caregiver.