Remember my telling you about the day not long after we moved to North Carolina to take care of Daddy that I went to a prayer group at our church, feeling as if I were crawling into the room on my hands and knees? Although my heart was willing to become a caregiver (it was my idea to move in with Daddy and take care of him), everything else about me was weak and frightened. Unprepared and overwhelmed are two words that come to mind when I look back on that morning. But our loving and compassionate Father was faithful to meet me as I cried out to Him. I left the church parlor with new strength, and three promises God had spoken to my heart.

They were:

I will not give you more than you can bear.

I will restore the time.

I will bless you.

Sixteen years have passed since my caregiving days ended. Each promise has been fulfilled.

I will not give you more than you can bear.

First, let me emphatically declare that in the vast scheme of life, I do not believe that caregiving is an unbearable burden, at least not in most situations. I do know of some circumstances that are very difficult, with medical conditions that require arduous around the clock effort or loved ones who become violent. Taking care of Daddy involved neither. 

Entering into any work for which we are not adequately prepared can throw us for a loop. The first days working at any new vocation are usually challenging. As we continue, we feel more comfortable as we learn the tricks of the trade. Training for a position before commencing it is always desirable, but in caregiving it is not always possible. Like most caregivers, I received on-the-job training. Fortunately, Daddy survived and was patient with me as I learned. And the more I learned about caregiving and put that knowledge into practice, the easier the responsibility became. 

In order to receive God’s promises, we must submit to His guidelines. God designed us to sleep almost one-third of our lives. Sleep should not be considered a luxury but a necessity. Think about it – sleep deprivation is considered a form of torture. When we do not get enough sleep, all areas of our life – emotional, physical, mental and spiritual – are impeded. 

An important principle of caregiving I discovered early on made the overall experience much easier: respite is not optional. 

Neither is it always readily available, but caregivers need to do whatever it takes to assure they are getting adequate rest – even if that includes the dreaded act of asking for assistance from other family members. 

How reassuring it was of God to let me know in the beginning that He would be with me, teach me what I needed to know, provide the strength I required, and enable me to complete the assignment He had given me. 

Here are some scriptures that encouraged me to believe that God would not give me more than I could bear:

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4).

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.(Isaiah 41:10)

The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory. (Psalm 118:14)

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7)

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. (Isaiah 40:29)

I will restore the time.

Through the years, when I recounted to others the three promises God had given me, this was the one that was often questioned.

“What does that mean?” they would ask – some honestly curious while others seemed to be dubious.

To tell you the truth, I wondered about the implication of the second promise myself. I believe that any promise God speaks to our heart must first be found in His word. In other words, God does not make special promises to individuals that are not available to others; sometimes He just has to remind us of what is already in scripture.

In Joel 2:25, God prophesied through Joel, “I will restore the years the swarming locusts have eaten…” 

Surely, the years I would spend taking care of Daddy would not be considered wasted or fruitless; oh, by no means. They were fruitful, productive, and fulfilling. So I resolved that praise must have a different meaning.

As I continued to study the word “restore” in scripture, I found many references relating to healing, such as, “The Lord sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness.” (Psalm 41:3) God has done that several times over the years.

In Psalm 80 alone, there are three identical requests: “Restore us, Lord God Almighty; make your face shine on us, that we may be saved.” (verses 3,7, and 19). Was God saying He would make His face shine on me and save me? That is certainly an encouraging promise. One of Daddy’s favorite passages of scripture was the twenty-third Psalm. Verse three reads, “He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” Yes, I did want that promise in my life.

Paul writes to his dear friend Philemon, “Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers.”(1:22) My post caregiving activities have restored me to many friends.

Sometimes I thought that promise might mean God would add to my life the time I gave to Daddy. Daddy died sixteen years ago – so already I have lived more than three times the number of years I gave. 

Having never come to a concrete conclusion about the particulars of that promise, I still believed it had been fulfilled, maybe many times over.

I was convinced of this more than ever after I did a word study of “restore” in a thesaurus, searching for the various nuances and related concepts. I discovered connotations I had not considered. The first listing included reinstate and bring back; the second, to return or give back; the third, to recondition or mend; and the fourth to reinvigorate, revitalize, revive, refresh, energize, and fortify.Wow! I identified with all of these, especially number four.

The year Daddy died, I turned fifty-two years old. But in the ensuing years, my life was certainly revived. I attended college, became a nurse, fulfilled life-long dreams and traveled to the other side of the world!

Taking care of Daddy did not take away from my life. The interest on those years provided bountiful dividends. Serving as a caregiver changed me as a Christian, as a person, and in all my familial roles. The entire time – not just that last night when I saw Heaven open up and welcome Daddy home, giving me a glimpse of eternity and removing all fear of death that had often held me captive throughout my life – God was giving back. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for restoring the time.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. (I Peter 5:10)

I will bless you.

Where, oh where do I start? Just in case you have not yet noticed the silhouetted children at the beginning of this chapter, those are twenty-four of our twenty-five grandchildren (Ellee Ruth arrived a few months after that photo was taken).

Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged.(Proverbs 17:6)

Blessed beyond measure does not begin to describe the way I view my life. At the highest level of blessing, our children, who all gave their hearts to Jesus as children, married Christian spouses and have established Christ-centered homes. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.(III John 1:4)

That the doors somehow opened for me to graduate from nursing school and work as a LPN in long-term care for seven years was another great blessing. It was my privilege to take care of hundreds of patients including former Sunday school and public school teachers, World War II veterans, sad and lonely people, happy and encouraging people. Those years, though definitely not without difficulties, brought abundant blessings into my life. Not to mention, for the first time in my life I was earning a real salary that allowed me to completely remodel and update the beautiful home place that was my inheritance. In addition, there was enough land to offer acreages on which to build a home to each of our children. To date, the three daughters and their husbands have accepted, which means at almost any given time I can look out a window and see a child at play. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (II Corinthians 9:8)

Recently, I cleaned out a closet and found a keepsake book from my high school days. I was amazed that many of the desires of my heart that I expressed for my future have been fulfilled in recent years. Two of those dreams involved writing and traveling.

My first book, Or Be Reconciled,was published in 2012, the same year I became a columnist for the Times News. Both of these ventures resulted in meeting many new people and renewing old acquaintances.

On the page of the keepsake book with the question, “Where do you hope to travel?” I listed four places: New York, California, London and India. The first two had already been checked off, including the ten years we lived in Brooklyn. But Europe? Asia? When we settled in North Carolina, traveling out of the United States was not on my radar.

Soon after I graduated from nursing school, Randy asked (begged) me to accompany him on what was to become his annual trip to India to look after the missions organization he had co-founded a year earlier.

Deep down, I loved the idea of being in India; I just didn’t want to fly over an ocean to get there. He cajoled. I prayed. He proposed stopping in London for a few days on the return trip. I capitulated. On the first leg of the flight – from Raleigh to Chicago – I pacified myself with the promise that as soon as we landed I would rent a car and drive home. Thankfully, I did not follow through with that silly plan I had concocted to calm my nerves. It would have meant missing the trip of a lifetime…a dream come true…an expedition into another world set in a bygone era. India was fascinating and I fell in love. I was so thankful God had helped me overcome my fear of flying. Since then, I have returned to India three times, with two side trips to Paris (one with our two oldest granddaughters!) and an extraordinary stay in the Old City of Jerusalem. More than I could have ever imagined as a teenager!

The greatest blessing in life is knowing Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Nothing else compares, and without Him, nothing else truly matters. I am fond of telling the grandkids, “If you have everything but Jesus, you have nothing; if you have nothing but Jesus, you have everything.”

As a good Father, God wants to bless us in abundant ways. Ephesians 6:1-3 repeats the fifth of the Ten Commandments – known as the first commandment with a promise: 

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother – which is the first commandment with a promise – so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.

What better way to honor your parents than to take care of them when they can no longer take care of themselves? God gave me the privilege of taking care of Daddy. When I realized I could not do it on my own, He gave me three promises to encourage me. Then, in His time, He fulfilled each one.