According to the latest research, the number of family caregivers increased by ten percent from 2010 to 2013. Now, four in ten adults in our country are caring for a family member who is either elderly or suffers from a chronic illness.

Why the increase? According to Susannah Fox, associate director of the Pew Research Center’s Internet and American Life project, who authored this study, more health care is happening at home for several reasons. “As more people are able to be saved by medical advances, their lives are being extended, but they’re also being sent home medically fragile.” The slow U.S. economy is another reason Fox gives for family members providing care at home. Professional help is often out of reach financially. According to the Centers for disease control and prevention, seventy-five percent of the senior population ages 65 and older have chronic conditions that are almost always progressive.

Family caregiving is here to stay. The caregivers I have met share a similar goal: they want to learn all they can to be more effective and enduring in their roles. Many caregivers have little time to prepare for this challenging position; some are thrust into it overnight. Following is a list of guidelines I have composed from my personal experiences and from listening to other caregivers.

1. You shall take care of your own physical, emotional and spiritual health. This has to be at the top of the list. It is not selfish. If you neglect yourself, there will be nothing left to give to others.
2. You shall accept help when it is offered and ask for assistance when needed. Although caregiving is a noble calling, be humble enough to admit you cannot do it alone.
3. You shall learn all you can about the medical condition(s) of the one for whom you provide care. This will benefit you and your patient.
4. Remember to be thankful for the opportunity God has given you. Some people become widows/widowers (instead of caregivers) overnight. Which would you prefer?
5. Honor the person you care for by giving the quality of care you would want to receive. The golden rule only becomes more precious in the golden years.
6. You shall reach out to other caregivers and share your knowledge, trials and triumphs. There is nothing more heartwarming than a group of people who have the “gift” sharing their stories; smiles and tears are inevitable.
7. You shall set aside at least 15 – preferably 30 – minutes of quiet time every day; He is our comforter, shepherd and friend. Daily communion will provide daily sustenance.
8. You shall not deprive thyself of needed breaks. You are human – amazing, but human. Rest awhile and be refreshed.
9. You shall keep a journal of special caregiving moments. You will not only look back on these treasured memories with a grateful heart, but you will come to the realization that although you were giving care, you were receiving so much more.
10. You shall not neglect other family members.

Take a few minutes to write day other “commandments” you feel are important for caregivers.