(From last week…Relaxation is not just a frame of mind you can assume; it is a skill to be learned. Fortunately, you can learn to relax right in the middle of your everyday duties as a caregiver; you do not even have to leave the house.  Think about what makes you feel relaxed. Next week we will discuss some of these activities and consider ways to achieve that goal.) 

Now that you have had a week to think about what relaxation means to you (and everyone is different) let’s look at some ideas that can help you pursue this state. But before we do, I want to expand the definition of relaxation into two categories. The first is a state of mind that feels calm, tranquil, and peaceful – the opposite of feeling anxious. The second includes activities that provide enjoyment, distraction, and pleasure – the opposite of work. When caregivers learn to combine these aspects into daily life, both caregiver and recipient will benefit.

Music – I have actually stopped shopping in certain stores because their piped-in music was so offensive. Every time I have a dental appointment, I wonder why the dentist chooses music for his office that is raucous (to my ears) instead of something soothing. I suppose he is catering to the younger generation, not the oldies but goodies, i.e., seniors like me. Renowned neuro-surgeon Dr. Benjamin Carson is known for playing classical music in the operating room. Can you imagine having your knee replaced – or a colonoscopy for that matter – and awakening from the induced slumber to the sound of heavy metal or rap music?  

I believe good music is a gift from God. There is a type for everyone, and depending on what you need at the time, there is music to lift your spirits, calm your nerves, inspire dancing, or lull you to sleep. Use as needed.

Hobbies – As mentioned above, relaxing does not necessarily mean sitting still. There are numerous activities you can pursue that help you unwind…if you enjoy that activity. Sewing, embroidering, and knitting come to mind (although I have never knitted a stitch in my life). Solving puzzles is another pursuit many people enjoy. There are so many to choose from, including crossword, sudoku and jigsaw. Discover one that gives you pleasure, not a headache.

Playing a musical instrument is one gift I would have gladly accepted had God chosen to give it to me, as He did to my eldest sister Elizabeth. Barely in her 80’s, she still plays beautifully for her church and a senior group and even performed a private concert for me the last time I visited her in Ohio. There are many mental and physical benefits to playing (as opposed to just listening to) music. If you have this talent, use it to relax yourself and others. 

Woodworking, gardening, baking, art, and journaling are all interests that can be incorporated into your role as caregiver. In my research for this column, I came across these favorite activities of seniors which do not come highly recommended as hobbies you should pursue: eating, binge-watching TV, and sleeping. Ouch.

Move it! Move it! Move it!  It is a fact that exercise has many benefits, including helping you to feel more relaxed at the end of the day when you participate on a regular basis. Even at home, you can do stretches, ride a stationary bicycle, walk, or find an appropriate cardio routine online. Do not forget that all physical activity, include chores around the house, count as physical exercise.

Socialize with people who lift you up. Invite a friend over for coffee, or if you are up to it, for a meal. Include your recipient when possible. Make it simple and easy on yourself. Reminisce or discuss affirming subjects.  

Splurge on yourself. Occasionally, allow yourself a treat. Think of something you would really enjoy – a facial, a manicure or pedicure (or both), a massage, or a banana split! Anything that feels special to you.

Take advantage of modern conveniences such as a heated massaging pad for your recliner or a foot massager. Special shower heads that do much more than get you wet perk you up and relieve muscle tension. Nothing prepares you to relax as much as a warm, invigorating shower. Since taking a shower is already a part of your daily routine, you do not have to feel guilty about taking this time for yourself. Spending some time each day enjoying these physical comforts will contribute to your well-being and an over-all feeling of relaxation.

Satisfy your senses. We have talked about listening to music but cater to your other senses as well. Sit on the porch and watch the sunrise or sunset. Keep your home smelling clean and fresh. Make sure the food you prepare is tasty as well as healthy (yes, that’s possible). Surround yourself with creature comforts – fluffy pillows, cozy throws, fine linens, soft clothing. Umm…

…and, last but not least…

Learn breathing techniques that will reduce tension, relieve stress, and leave you feeling relaxed. You can do them anytime, anywhere and without any equipment. Here is a simple one that matches inhalations with exhalations by time.

1. Assume a comfortable position.
2. Breathe in through your nose, counting to five.
3. Breath out through your nose, counting to five.
4. Repeat five times, increasing the length of breaths to your comfort level (usually 10 or below).

If this breathing exercise works for you, you may want to learn other techniques. There are many suggestions online.

As we continue living in these very interesting times – learning to relax and practicing this skill regularly – will benefit us – and our loved ones significantly.

Caring Quote: Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28