Caregiver to Caregiver

Experienced caregivers are, of course, the best resource when you are seeking answers to various caregiving questions. Several years ago, I attended a seminar for caregivers, and as I listened to one of the featured speakers, I began thinking: “Hm…sounds as if she had a terrible caregiving experience to present those points of view.”

Afterwards I approached and ask her to tell me about her personal caregiving experience. Somewhat apologetically, she admitted she had none. Her “expertise” was learned in college classes. Education can provide a vast array of knowledge – but caregiving wisdom can best be gained by experience. 

Every time I have the opportunity to talk with a caregiver, I come away impressed not only by the practical information they share, but also by their attitude towards this most noble of callings. I began a notebook of “practical suggestions from caregivers” and today will present some of these in the form of a true/false quiz so you can exercise your brain and learn some helpful tips. Enjoy.

True/False Statements

1. Mirrors should be placed throughout the house so loved ones can check their appearance frequently.
2. Most seniors prefer to tell time using traditional analog clocks.
3. Allow your recipient to make his/her own decisions as much as possible.
4. It is best not to laugh in the presence of those with dementia.
5. If there are children in the household, inform and involve them as much as possible in the caregiving process. 
6. Make a master list of daily caregiving tasks, listed according to importance.
7. Once you have been designated as, and assumed the responsibility of primary caregiver, there is no need to discuss future plans or problematic situations with other family members.
8. Always put your loved one’s needs first. 

Answers:

1. False. The reflection from mirrors may startle or cause confusion, especially when someone has dementia. It is best to limit their use to appropriate places such as the bedroom and bathroom.
2. False. Even though today’s seniors grew up learning to tell time by the position of the hands on the clock, they may now find this frustrating. Digital clocks – especially larger ones – are actually easier for them to read.
3. True. Being able to make decisions (such as what clothes to wear or what foods to eat) helps to maintain independence and a feeling of control. The key is to limit options that are presented, for example, “Do you want to wear your beige or navy sweater to the store?” Not only does this save time and energy for the caregiver but lessens confusion and prevents the recipient from being overwhelmed by an array of choices.
4. False. Humor is a gift to be enjoyed. It is good medicine for the soul. Just be sure to follow the old adage we all learned as children: laugh “with” and not “at” the other person.
5. True – a resounding true. In fact, I would suggest that blessed is the recipient and the child that find themselves together in a caregiving home. Children can learn basic life skills as well as important character qualities such as compassion and patience from living in a home where care is provided to an elderly or infirm family member. The recipient will also benefit from the joy and vitality a child exudes.
6. True. Although caregiving is not a static journey, keeping a master list of must-dos will help caregivers prioritize the most important tasks. It will also make it easier to recruit the assistance of others. Checking off items on a list helps to remind you of how much you have accomplished. 
7. False. For everyone’s best interest, keep all family members informed of important changes in the recipient’s physical and mental conditions. Instead of closing others out (whether they are helpful or not) let them know you welcome their input. This not only helps to maintain family harmony but will also make it easier to ask for and receive assistance when it is needed.
8. False. If you answered “true” you must be a brand-new caregiver! Experienced caregivers understand this principle. Before the plane takes off, the flight attendant instructs that in case of an emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first before assisting someone else. Remember, you must take care of yourself so you will be physically, mentally, and spiritually able to care for you recipient. This is not being selfish; it is being responsible. 

How did you do? Did you learn something new? Caregivers are always open to good advice because they want to excel in their role.

One way is by conversing with and learning from other caregivers. 

Caring Quote: So continue encouraging each other and building each other up, just like you are doing already.  I Thessalonians 5:11