As 2019 ends in a few days and we begin a new year, I thought it would be a good time to share some thoughts that have been floating around in my brain.

I would like to acknowledge all the amazing caregivers I have had the privilege to meet, talk to and correspond with during this past year. You always inspire and bless me. May God bless you as you continue to follow your calling and share your gift. 

To all who read this blog – even though you are not presently a caregiver – I want to encourage you to take time to uplift someone who is. A greeting card with a short hand-written note, a well-timed visit, a plate of homemade cookies or other small gestures can do wonders to brighten a difficult day. 

For you who are caregivers, here is an acrostic that recognizes some of your basic needs. Realizing that you do indeed have needs of your own and allowing those needs to be met (by yourself or others) will assist you in fulfilling your role as a caregiver to the best of your ability. 

Care – Yes, care for the caregiver! You cannot constantly give without receiving sustenance in return. Make you own health – spiritual, mental and physical – a priority this year. Eat better (see G below), exercise more, try to get adequate sleep, laugh a lot, sing in the sunshine and keep those doctor appointments.

Assistance – No one, no matter how capable, can do everything that needs to be done. Learn to say “yes” when a friend or family member offers to help. Convince yourself that it is really okay to ask for assistance when needed.

Respite – This is one of my favorite words in the caregiver vocabulary! I love to sing it to the tune of Aretha Franklin’s RESPECT – “all I’m asking for is a little R-E-S-P-I-T-E!” This is a requirement and necessary for continued service. Schedule time off on your calendar – at the minimum a few hours a week – and make arrangements ahead of time so you can follow-through. If you do not think this is possible, contact a local elder care agency and ask how they can help you. You may be surprised at the various services that are available.

Education – Learning all you can about your loved one’s disease process will make your responsibilities much easier and help you know what to expect in the future. Ask questions at doctor visits. Read an applicable book. Abundant, easy-to-understand information is available on the Internet. 

Good nutrition – This quote from Ann Wigmore says it well: “The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison.” For more detailed guidelines, read my series on Bless This Food to Our Ues which you can find in the archives under the heading “Nutrition.”

Inspiration – Sharing your experiences with other caregivers, joining a support group, and reading this blog each week are all ways to be encouraged and reminded that the path you have chosen (or been given) may not be the easiest, but it is the best. 

Vacation – Unlike respite, which is usually a short period of rest, a vacation is an extended period of planned activity, away from everyday life. I can hear you say, “How can I get away?” Where there is a will, there is almost always a way. Just anticipating and planning a vacation can improve your attitude.

Easy-going manner – Forget perfect. If you are obsessive-compulsive (as I have a tendency to be), get over having to have everything in its place all the time. Sometimes you have to practice being laid back – especially when it comes to the non-essentials. Plan and prioritize but do not go to pieces if your best attempts result in less-than-best results. I often remind myself, “all things work together for good.” Another favorite phrase is “que sera, sera” which interpreted is “what will be, will be.” When I taught this Doris Day hit from the 1950’s to the grandkids, I tweaked the lyrics a bit, replacing “the future’s not ours to see,” with “the future is His, you see.” From that point of view, we need not worry or fret about what tomorrow may bring. 

Recreation – Maintaining a daily time in your schedule for a favorite pastime, a diversion, or some entertainment will do wonders for your overall well-being, and therefore, make you a better caregiver. Anything you enjoy that brings you pleasure (and doesn’t injure your joints) should be on the list. Woodworking, gardening, sewing, baking, soaking in the tub, reading, puzzles, journaling…take time now to jot down a few ideas of your own and pursue them in 2020.

Put them all together, they spell – CAREGIVER! 

Caregivers are by nature, givers, and often have to be reminded it is okay to think about their own needs. In fact, it is essential. Neglecting yourself in the present will rob you of the stamina you will require to meet the needs of your loved one in the long term. 

May God bless you in all you do in the coming year.