December 31, 2018

Happy New Year! Seems just like yesterday many of us were in turmoil over Y2K. Remember all the hoopla? Hard to believe that occurred 19 years ago.

Speaking of years ago, in the early ‘70’s, Randy and I were on staff at the Teen Challenge Center (a Christian drug treatment ministry) in Brooklyn, New York. During a leadership seminar, the national director told this story about a young wife preparing her first pot-roast dinner. As her husband watched, she cut off both ends of the roast before dredging the meat in flour and spices. “Why do you do that?” her husband asked. “Does it make the meat more tender?”

She paused just a second before answering. “I really don’t know; my mom always did it.”

Curious, her husband urged her to call her mom.

Mom was equally stumped. “I’m not sure, but that’s what Grandma always did.”

Their interest now piqued, the wife dialed Grandma. Amused, she replied. “Well, Grandpa and I only had one roasting pan and it wasn’t very large, so I’d cut off the ends to make the roast fit in the pan.”

Ahem.

Have you been providing care after a certain model because that is the way you have always heard it was done? Are you willing to consider there may be a better way or that individuals respond differently and deserve personalized care plans? Caregiving requires many of the same characteristics as leadership, such as resourcefulness and a willingness to compromise when appropriate. If you have been a caregiver for some time and still feel that you are struggling in your role, stop and ask yourself what changes you can make to be more effective. Just because you have always provided care with a certain approach does not mean it is the best way – especially if the results are disappointing for either you or your loved one.

Besides getting stuck in an ineffective rut, another hindrance to a successful caregiving experience is a lack of understanding.

Last Christmas (2017), the grandkids learned “Carol of the Bells” as part of their repertoire of songs they performed at several events. As I am their “grammy/director” I printed out the lyrics and was surprised to find this line: “Gaily they ring, while people sing.” As long as I can remember, I have been singing along to this song with my own version: “Gaily they ring; wild people sing.” Honestly. I thought people just got so excited they were considered “wild” but in a good way. After all, a synonym of “wild” is “enthusiastic.”

It is often easy to misinterpret a person’s desires because we have not listened carefully or took something for granted. Clear communication is vitally important to a successful caregiving experience. If your present situation is producing more turmoil than tranquility, maybe it is time to gather everyone involved and talk through all the issues – it may even be helpful to write down the fine points just to make sure you have not mistaken one word for another.

As you begin this New Year as a caregiver, be open to innovation and always listen carefully to the words your loved one has to say. Blessings to you and yours!

Throwback:

If you are looking for hints to improve your nutrition or declutter your home as part of your 2019 New Year strategy, check out these blogs in the Archives:

• Category Clutter: Beyond clutter; Give it away now; How does your home rate on the clutter-meter?; Unclutter the New Year
• Category Nutrition: Bless this food to our use (series)

Wishing you a joyous and satisfying 2019!

Ruth Z. W. Johnson