Caregiver burnout can be defined as experiencing physical, mental, or emotional exhaustion accompanied by negative and/or apathetic feelings. In other words, the “care” goes out of “caregiver” and you are left with the attitude that all you do is give, give, give – without having any of your own needs met. Unfortunately, this scenario is all too common, especially when caregivers feel guilty for even considering taking time for their selves. Caregiving is one of the most demanding jobs on earth, yet many times we are thrust into this role without training or experience. Caregiving is a natural “fit” for some, while others struggle with this special calling.

Causes:  I believe the number one cause for burnout is neglecting one’s own physical, emotional, and spiritual health.Don’t make this mistake. You owe it to your loved one to take care of yourself first. Yes, first.  If you don’t maintain your own well being, both you and your loved one will suffer the consequences.

Some caregivers experience “role confusion.” Being your husband’s “nurse” along with being his “wife” may present some interesting challenges. Some husbands struggle with separating their roles of caregiver and spouse. For a son, taking care of his mother’s hygiene needs may be awkward and embarrassing.

Many caregivers are disappointed when the care receiver doesn’t seem to respond to their loving care or even becomes belligerent.  When you care for a person with a progressive disease (Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s), seeing them get worse rather than improve can be disheartening.

Lack of skills or time or money or sleep or _______ (you fill in the blank) may lead to discouragement that drains what little energy you have left. When this occurs, you will begin to experience changes that should alert you to potential burnout. You may suffer from insomnia or dread getting up in the morning. You may feel like eating all the time or not at all. You come down with every bug that’s going around, and can’t seem to shake the symptoms. You lose interest in things you use to enjoy and may even make excuses for not visiting with family and friends. Extreme irritability may replace your usual demeanor. Two more serious warning signs are increased use of alcohol and thoughts of harming yourself or your loved one. If you are experiencing either of these, you need to seek assistance.

As in so many other areas of life, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. There are actions you can take to prevent caregiver burnout from interfering with your responsibilities. Here are some of the best:

• Take care of your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs first; this is not an indulgence but a necessity.
• Learn all you can about your loved one’s illness and maintain reasonable expectations.
• Continue other relationships; a close friend you can confide in (or vent to) is invaluable.
• Keep a journal; I know that you are thinking “Where will I find the time?” Make the time. Just a few sentences a day can help you clear your mind, and will give you a special keepsake.
• Join a caregiver support group – PRICELESS!!
• Accept others’ offers to help. No offers? Ask for help from family or friends; if no one is available to provide respite care for you – shame on them! Research local agencies that provide services for seniors and or caregivers and contact them.
• If needed, talk to a professional. This could be your pastor, a counselor, or someone who specializes in this area.
• Try to incorporate humor into everyday. I will never forget the first time I tried out my dad’s lift, which we obtained when he was no longer ambulatory. We both ended up in the floor – unhurt but giggling like children. Always look on the bright side (even when you have to use your imagination).
• Be thankful for the opportunity to provide wonderful care for someone you love. I do not think anyone would ever say that caregiving is easy – but almost every caregiver I have ever known agrees that it is definitely worth it!