“My sister does not want a male giving her a bath or cleaning her up after she’s had an accident. It really embarrasses her to have a man take care of such personal needs and I understand just how she feels!”

This younger sister was beside herself as she expressed concern about her older sister’s care in a nursing home. “When they first started having male CNAs provide care for the women, they allowed my sister to opt out. Not any more. I was just informed that she had to accept care from a male or she would be “refusing care.”

For a response to this dilemma, I contacted Dorian Fredricksen, the Long-Term Care Program Manager for the Piedmont Triad Regional Council Area Agency on Aging. Here’s her reply:

“Nursing home residents have rights that are guaranteed by the federal 1987 Nursing Home Reform Law. The law requires nursing homes to ‘promote and protect the rights of each resident’ and places a strong emphasis on individual dignity and self-determination. This includes the resident’s right to participate in his/her own care and to refuse care and services that the resident may not be comfortable with. In this instance, the resident has the right to express her discomfort with having a male caregiver and the nursing home is obligated to protect the resident’s dignity and right to direct her own care and should make reasonable accommodations to honor her request.”

If your loved one resides in a nursing facility, and you need assistance with a situation such as the one above, contact the Ombudsman for your county.

The North Carolina Bill of Rights for Nursing Home Residents is available online. Here is a summary: (1) To be treated with consideration and respect, recognizing personal dignity and individuality. (2) To receive adequate and appropriate care that is in compliance with federal and state statutes. (3) To receive, at admission and during stay, a written statement of services provided by the facility. (4) To have on file physician’s orders with proposed schedule of medical treatment. (5) To receive respect and privacy in the medical care program; all records are confidential. (6) To be free of mental and physical abuse; to be free of chemical and physical restraint (except in emergencies when authorized for a specified period by a physician according to clear and indicated medical need). (7) To receive, from the administration or staff, a reasonable response to all requests. (8) To associate and communicate privately and without restriction with persons of the patient’s choice at any reasonable hour; to have privacy in receiving and sending mail and telephone conversations. (9) To manage his/her financial affairs unless other legal arrangements have been implemented. (10) To have private visits with a spouse; if both are patients in the same facility, to have the opportunity to share a room. (11) To enjoy privacy in his/her room. (12) To present grievances and recommend changes in policies and services without fear of reprisal, restraint, interference, coercion, or discrimination. (13) To not be required to perform services for the facility without personal consent and the written approval of the attending physician. (14) To have reasonable storage for personal possessions. (15) To not be transferred or discharged except for medical, financial, or their own or other patient’s welfare, nonpayment for the stay or when mandated by Medicare or Medicaid. Transfers require at least five days’ notice, unless otherwise ordered by the attending physician. (16) To be notified, along with the responsible party, within ten days after the facility’s license is revoked or made provisional.