I have been young and now am old; I used to buy and collect; now I am donating and dispersing.

One of my favorite topics to write about is decluttering. It is a popular topic these days, with best-selling books and television shows addressing the subject of letting go. An orderly home provides many advantages to care recipients and caregivers. They include safety, less stress, and peacefulness.

Some of my friends/family have similar sentiments about getting rid of their abundance of stuff…others, not so much.

Last week Randy and I dropped by the home of some dear friends. We had not been inside their house since the pandemic began. Thinking we would just stand on the front porch and yell back and forth for a few minutes as we had done previously in this age of social distancing, I knocked on the door and stepped back. However, since all four of us have received our vaccinations – our shots in the arms – they felt comfortable inviting us inside. 

“Oh, the house is such a mess…” she began, but I shushed her. “We came to visit with you, not take a tour of your house,” I contended.

One hour later, we walked out the front door after thoroughly enjoying a delightful conversation with this lovely couple who had just celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary – just a few weeks before we celebrated number forty-eight. 

Unfortunately, even though I was attentive and actively engaged in the dialogue, I had been continually distracted (I multi-task well) during the visit by the amount of clutter in their “living” room. Truly, they live there. Due to a medical situation, both sleep in lounge chairs in this room. They watch television, eat meals, greet guests…it is a lovely room with nice furniture and accessories. A large picture window permits a view of the blooming azalea bushes in the front yard. As I have a tendency to do – in almost any surroundings in which I find myself – as we talked, I reorganized the room in my mind, rearranging (and removing) furniture to make it appear more spacious and less disorganized. I wanted to pick up the four shopping bags from various stores in the mall and place their contents where they would be used and dispose of the bags. How nice it would be, I thought, to eke out a proper and safe pathway from one end of the room to the other. Though charming, putting away the few remaining Christmas decorations would give the room a sense of the here and now. I felt compelled to remove the pile of stuff from the recliner belonging to the lady of the house to prevent her from sliding off when she sat down. My desire was to give this couple an orderly room in which they could enjoy their daily (and nightly) activities in peace and comfort. 

On the way out, I spilled my guts – well sort of. “I have a whole series of articles on clutter on my website,” I murmured softly as the wife and I leaned in toward each other, emulating a COVID hug. 

“Oh, I know I need to do something…” she went on, expressing her desire to live without clutter while also explaining why she believed it may be an unattainable goal. 

It is not. Let me repeat that. Decluttering your surroundings is not an unattainable goal. You just have to want it enough to actually do it. I did not say easy. Removing decades of stuff can seem like an overwhelming task. It may take some time; but remember, it took some time to accumulate. But you have to start somewhere. 

My purpose today is not to go into the details of a complete decluttering makeover, but (for those who need it) to whet your appetite for a home in which you can relax and feel nurtured, not bombarded.

First, a quick quiz:

1. Your hairbrush is ancient, missing a lot of bristles and pulls chunks of hair out of your scalp. Do you______ a. keep using it, but carefully          b. throw it in the trash and buy a new one c. buy a new one but put the old one in the back of the drawer
2. You have an abundant supply of underwear. While folding laundry, you notice two pair that have holes and look rather ragged. Do you ______ a. throw them in the trash.  b. throw them in the trash and buy six new pairs. c. fold them neatly and replace in your overstuffed dresser
3. While shopping for a can of spray paint to touch up your favorite planter, you notice a BOGO half-price sale. You have no use for the second can, but it would save almost two dollars. Do you _____ a. buy two cans and spend hours on the phone trying to find someone who needs a can of sunflower yellow spray paint b. buy two cans and store one with your other unopened/leftover paint. c. buy one can
4. Once you find a place for something in your home, you _____ a. leave it there forever          b. move it to another location if it seems beneficial c. stash it in the attic when you get tired of it
5. Which one of these buying habits best describes you? a. If you love it, you buy it – especially if it is on sale b. You buy only what you truly need c. Even if you don’t love it, if it’s a bargain you convince yourself you can find a use for it

Answers. There are no right nor wrong answers – only indicators of where you fall on the clutter scale. For instance,

1. When any item can no longer fulfill its useful purpose, the best response is to throw it in the trash and replace it with one of good quality. Period.
2. We have to face the reality that we can’t keep all of our belongings forever – and we should only keep what we really need. If we can’t get rid of worn-out underwear or buy much more than we need…then chances are our drawers will always be disorderly.
3. It is just a hard fact that items bought in multiples (or bulk) often cost less than ones bought singly. So, is paying for something you do not really want or need a bargain? This one can go either way; but unless you have room to store the extras, you might find yourself collecting a lot of stuff that you will never use.
4. It is a good thing to be able to occasionally evaluate your surroundings and ask yourself, “Does this need to be here? Would it be more useful in another location?” Sometimes we just can’t let go completely but are able to put something out of sight…which probably means out of mind and that it will be relegated to the status of “forever storage.” Consider donating the item to someone who would appreciate and use it instead of hiding it in the attic or shed to collect dust and deteriorate.
5. Be honest. Do you need to reevaluate what your purchase and why? Learn from your shopping mistakes, limiting your purchases to what you really need that will make life better.

Being surrounded by too much stuff that just gets in the way of life can be harmful in several ways. It can present a fall hazard, cause stress, and interfere with comfort and relaxation.

Close your eyes and imagine the way you want your home to look. Then make it happen.