Caregiver to Caregiver

This column may come too late for some of you. You may be one of those who have already completed your Christmas shopping. I hope you saved your receipts; most stores have generous seasonal return policies. Why would you want to return a gift before Christmas?  Read on…

Last summer I wrote about my sweet father-in-law, Roy, who lived most of his life in the small town of Buffalo, Oklahoma. Roy passed away August 24, 2013, just six days shy of his 84^thbirthday. He was sleeping peacefully when he left this old world behind and went home to heaven and his precious Bernita.

When Randy and I went to Oklahoma for the funeral, we stayed in the house where Roy and Bernita had started their married life, raised a family, and lived happily for sixty years. A few days after the funeral we began the task of  “going through things.” Their belongings evoked a myriad of pleasant memories of all those exciting trips to Grumpy and Gussie’s home (the names our children chose for their grandparents). Randy’s siblings joined us and we began the process of dividing the household goods. We drew names, took turns choosing our treasures and repeated the process – over and over and over. Even after each of the siblings had everything they wanted to keep, there remained a ton of stuff. Then we started on the next room. At the end of the second day, “stuff fatigue” set in. Roy and Bernita were not hoarders. They were receivers! Many of the items we found stuffed in dresser drawers, stacked in closets and stored under beds had been gifts from well-meaning loved ones (like us). Were they not appreciative of the gifts we had so lovingly chosen for them on special occasions? Of course they were. But how much “stuff” can two people use?

Gifts should bring pleasure, and hopefully, be somewhat useful. So what steps can we take to ensure our Christmas gifts to loved ones serve a worthwhile purpose instead of contributing to clutter? I brainstormed with several caregivers and we came up with these ideas:

• Ask the recipient what gift he would like to receive; if he is not able to respond, ask his caregiver for suggestions.
• Give consumable gifts – special foods, comfortable every-day clothing, bath/body products that are used regularly – instead of “dust collectors.”
• Gift cards – for groceries, toiletries, health supplies – are always welcome.
• Framed photos of family members – especially grandchildren – can be displayed and enjoyed every day.
• Consider paying for personal services: beautician/barber (in-home if your loved one is housebound); manicure/pedicure; massage (with physician’s approval).
• Provide or hire someone to perform needed tasks: lawn work, minor repairs, painting, carpet cleaning, etc.
• Go together with other family members and purchase a new household item to replace one that has seen better days, such as a microwave, television, or vacuum cleaner.
• Give a gift of time: commit to reading to your loved one several hours every week, taking a long drive in the country weekly or providing companionship on a regular basis – an activity that both of you can anticipate throughout the year.

God gave the perfect Gift, but with a little ingenuity and a lot of love, we can give Christmas gifts that will be perfectly suited for our elderly family members. Do not forget the receipt when you go to return that knick-knack!

Caring quote:

For God so loved the world, He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16