Caregiver to Caregiver

Relax. That’s my recommendation for the week after Christmas. What a change of pace from the past few weeks! However, I enjoyed almost every minute of the Christmas preparations and celebrations and hope you did too. In a few days it will be time to “put away Christmas” and make the way clear for the New Year.  This is not a task I necessarily look forward to, but I have learned to appreciate the sleek appearance of a window without a tree or tabletops devoid of candles and nativities. (By next November 30, I will be more than ready for them again.)

Whether the person you care for lives with you, or you have taken up residence in their home, it is probably your responsibility to oversee the cleanliness and organization of the home. These two aspects go hand-in-hand. No matter how much you dust and vacuum, an unorganized home never really appears spic and span, while an organized home always has a semblance of tidiness

Years ago I read about a research project that concluded that clutter was the number one stress factor for many people, particularly women. From the proliferation of books and magazine articles about home organization, it appears that this is now a well-accepted fact. Psychologists claim that clutter affects our anxiety level and may cause feelings of helplessness or being overwhelmed. Succinctly speaking, “mess leads to stress.” Fortunately, they also suggest that this is one of the easiest stressors to remedy.

For several years, “The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up – the Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing” by Marie Kondo has been a best seller, with over two million copies sold. I had a hard time finding it at Barnes and Noble because it is such a small book. I suppose Ms. Kondo didn’t want to add too much clutter to anyone’s home. I was expecting an over-sized book with voluminous before and after photos. Even though there are no photos, this “cleaning consultant” presented some clever ideas and continually advises readers not to keep anything that “doesn’t bring you joy.” Unfortunately, she lost me when she started talking to her used clothes before she threw them out, such as (my paraphrase) “thank you dear sweater for serving me well but you are history.”

Because caregivers need to reduce stress in as many ways as possible, let’s consider this subject. A good place to begin are these reasons to declutter suggested by Sherry Bourg Carter, Psy.D. in her book High Octane Women.

 She writes that clutter:

• causes our senses to work overtime by bombarding our minds with excessive stimuli
• makes it more difficult to relax, both physically and mentally
• frustrates us by preventing us from finding something we need quickly
• inhibits creativity and productivity
• creates feeling of guilt and embarrassment, especially when people drop by unexpectedly. (This may prevent caregivers from inviting guests – whose visits would benefit the care receiver – into the home.)

As if those reasons are not enough to persuade caregivers to begin the paring down process, she also counsels, “Clutter constantly signals to our brains that our work is never done.”

Caregivers already have their hands full. If throwing out and tidying up can produce beneficial effects in our lives, maybe it is a project to be considered. Next week we will look at some ways to tackle this problem. I promise you, I will not suggest that you talk to your old sweaters.

CARING TIP: If the inside of your home could be easily mistaken for a storage shed, be sure to read, “How does your home rate on the clutter-meter?”