Caregiver to Caregiver

Since 1997, the month of November has been designated as National Family Caregivers Month. It is designated as a time to recognize and honor the estimated 43 million family caregivers in the United States. A good way to do that is to take note of caregivers around us and acknowledge their service with words of encouragement and appreciation. Here are a few from me.

You may have chosen to become a caregiver; more likely, you were drafted by circumstances beyond your control. You may have had previous training or responsibilities that helped prepare you for this role; or you may have entered this season of serving without any on-the-job training to prepare you for such an extraordinary position. You may have answered the call with great excitement and anticipation; however, it is probable you had serious misgivings, even to the degree of being overwhelmed. 

No matter the situation that thrust you into your role, you responded, “Yes, I will care for this person.” You could have said “No.” But caregivers do not make decisions based on what is easy, but what is right.

One day as Randy and I were traveling on the interstate, I caught a glimpse of a message on a billboard that went something like this: “Stop being your dad’s caregiver and go back to being his daughter.” I was never more my dad’s daughter than when I was his caregiver. I suggest the two are not mutually exclusive. Who better to be a caregiver, than a daughter or son or husband or wife?

I will be the first to admit that caregiving is a challenging responsibility. Sure, there are days that are so difficult you ask, “Why me, Lord?” And yet, in my heart I believe that those difficulties can be managed, and the rewards received from providing care for our loved ones far outweigh any sacrifices we make along the way. 

As a caregiver, you have put yourself in your loved one’s situation and asked, “If I were no longer able to care for myself, who would I want to take care of me?” You have chosen to do unto another, as you would have them do to you. 

And that, my friend, is your legacy and blessing. Congratulations on making the right choice!

To my readers who are not currently serving as a caregiver but know someone who is, here are some ideas to inspire you to take time to show your appreciation to that relative, friend or neighbor.

• Tell a caregiver, “I would like to do something special for you. What do you need?” Every caregiving situation is different and so are the needs and desires of the caregiver. Because caregivers are “giving” folks, they may hesitate to ask for something for themselves, so you may have to gently prod. A few hours of respite time is usually greatly appreciated. 
• Look around the home (exterior and interior) where the care is provided. Leaves to rake? Ramp needs some repairs? Outside light needs a new bulb? Toilet doesn’t flush properly? Kitchen faucet leaks? You get the idea…look for something that needs to be done and do it!
• Thanksgiving and Christmas will be here soon. Does the caregiver need assistance preparing for these holidays? You could offer to help with decorations, do some shopping, or prepare a meal. 
• A hand-written note of appreciation is an easy way to brighten a caregiver’s day. Include some recent photos of loved ones, a copy of some inspirational quotes, or an inspiring story. 
• Gifts should be thoughtfully chosen, based on each individual situation. “Stuff” that will only catch dust should be avoided. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t enjoy a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Special food items – especially something delicious and homemade – will not require storage space (at least for long). You cannot go wrong with gift certificates, particularly for a grocery store or pharmacy. A good book or a magazine or newspaper subscription may also be the perfect gift for someone who cares for a homebound loved one.

If you have not already had the experience of being a caregiver, you may in the future, or you may one day need a caregiver. With that in mind, give a little of your time and resources this month to honor those who make the world a much better place for so many. 

Caring Thought: One of life’s highest honors is to be able to care for those special people who once cared for us.