Caregiver to Caregiver

The other day I saw an inscription on a heart-shaped trinket. It read, “Caring is giving from the heart.” When you put your heart into something, inevitably, you will experience a vast array of emotions. 

Emotion: a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood or relationships with others; instinctive or intuitive feeling as distinguished from reasoning or knowledge.

Following are four different emotions that you are likely to encounter along the path of your caregiving journey.

• Full heart. Accepting the role of caregiver – especially when you have had the opportunity to prepare and anticipate – can cause your heart to overflow with joy. Viewing your assignment as a privilege will provide abundant opportunities to find fulfillment in the daily routine, even during challenging times. On the other hand, if you consider caregiving a burden, it may become one. As in so many areas of life, attitude makes a world of difference. Learn to face every day of caregiving with a positive viewpoint. At the end of each day, offer thanks that you have been given the honor of loving and caring for someone who has loved and cared for you. 

• Troubled heart. As days turn into months, and months into years, and years…there will be days when the load is heavy! Exhaustion (When am I going to be able to sleep through the night or have a few hours of respite?); frustration (Why can’t I make him understand?); or even hopelessness (How much longer, God?) may creep in and attempt to steal your joy. These times require perseverance, as well as a willingness to ask for help. That does not make you a failure; it allows you to succeed in your goal of providing the best care possible.  

When you are suddenly thrust into the role of caregiver as the result of a loved one’s accident or catastrophic medical event such as a stroke, you will most likely begin your experience with a troubled heart. Do not despair. With time, as you see your loved one respond to your compassionate touch, you will also experience the blessing of a full heart.

• Broken heart. The day will come when your care is no longer required, for your loved one has said his final good-bye. Loosing someone to whom you have devoted so much of your life can be devastating. During this time of grief, you can find comfort in knowing you made the last days better through your presence and care. You were able to say “good-bye” in so many meaningful ways. 

• Restored heart. No two people grieve in the same way or for the same period of time. Eventually, you will get a good night’s sleep. Hopefully you will take a lovely and long-overdue vacation. The sun will rise in your heart once again. A new door may open before you. Will you be there to encourage others who have accepted the role of caregiver? Maybe you can provide respite care for a neighbor or friend – because you know how much a few hours of free time can do to rejuvenate the body and spirit. You may even consider hosting a support group. Surely, your experience – which has made you gentler and more compassionate – will provide a conduit to encourage others who are experiencing the array of emotions you remember so well. 

Caring Quote: And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7