Name them one by one
It is appropriate that the month chosen for National Family Caregivers Month is also the one in which we celebrate Thanksgiving. Whether you are on the giving or receiving end of caregiving, I hope you possess an attitude of gratitude. Being thankful for – or despite – your situation has been found to improve your overall physical condition, especially your heart.
According to Time Health,researchers have found that those who scored highest in a measure of “gratitude scores” were more likely to have less inflammation, which is often a culprit that worsens the symptoms of heart failure. In a study conducted by Paul J. Mills, a professor of family medicine and public health at the University of California, San Diego, patients who kept journals in which they recorded the things for which they were grateful showed reductions in levels of inflammatory biomarkers and an increase in heart rate variability which is considered a measure of reduced cardiac risk.
Another advantage for those with thankful hearts is a better quality of sleep. When you lie down at night, does your mind hit replay, blaring all the worries and concerns you faced during the day? Still your anxiety by thanking God, one by one, for each positive aspect of your day. Of course, this is not new advice and did not take a team of researchers to discover. Joseph Oatman, Jr., the pastor who wrote Count Your Blessings, discovered this miracle sleep-aid in 1897 when he was forty-one years of age. The song became well-loved and Gipsy Smith, an evangelist of that period noted, “Men sing it, boys whistle it and women rock their babies to sleep to it.” You probably have not heard Count Your Blessings in some time unless you have caught a rerun of Lawrence Welk. I believe Norma Zimmer sang that song on every Thanksgiving show. It does not seem likely that this familiar hymn will become trendy again, but maybe we can teach it to our grandchildren. Certainly, we can use its message to remind ourselves of the benefits of acknowledging the bounty of good things God has given us.
Consider this question. If your best friend had to choose a nickname for you based on your level of gratefulness, would it be, “Appreciative Amy/Al” or “Thankless Tonya/Tom”?
Oh, you say you don’t have a best friend? That is unfortunate – and may be a sign that you come across as ungrateful. In a 2014 study published in the journal Emotion, it was reported that researchers concluded that showing gratitude helps you make new friends. Conveying gratefulness to others is not only a way to nurture old relationships, but also a method to begin new ones.
This is a no-brainer, but people who are generous with words and expressions of thanksgiving have a healthier outlook on life than those who feel no need to offer words of appreciation. It is impossible to be both grateful and negative at the same time. If you feel yourself drifting toward a pessimistic point of view rather than an optimistic one, it may be time to make a list of your many blessings and express heartfelt thanks.
As care recipients become more infirm, many are no longer able to say the words of thanksgiving they fell inside and that their caregivers deserve. Other family members or friends may need to step up and assume this role. “I know if Uncle Joe could still speak, he would tell everyone that you take such good care of him,” would be an appropriate way to express Uncle Joe’s gratitude for him. Or just a simple, “Thank you for providing excellent care for ______ (fill in the blank)”
Better health, more restful sleep, good friends, and a bright outlook on life are good returns on an investment of taking time to be thankful.
May you and your family be blessed as you prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving next week – even though we are being told this will be the most expensive one ever! That may just be a blessing in disguise; we can all eat a little less and avoid the discomfort of too much stuffing (pun intended). And after all, Thanksgiving really isn’t about the turkey.
Caring Quote: The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26