More than melancholy?
A reader shared these concerns: “My mom has been refusing to keep her weekly appointment to have her hair done. She has been going to the same beautician for over twenty years! Also, she’s no longer interested in going out to eat or visiting friends. She is 79, has mostly recovered from a mild stroke she had last fall, and has moderate arthritis which causes pain but she still gets around. We are both widows and she has lived with me the past ten years. Do you have any suggestions?”
Your mom is exhibiting symptoms that may be associated with depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, as many as 15% of elders suffer from depression and 25% experience persistent feelings of sadness.
Almost everyone experiences periods of melancholy that are related to daily difficulties or losses. However, when these feelings last for weeks and grow more intense, they could indicate clinical depression.
Some possible indicators of depression include:
- Losing interest in or not caring about personal appearance
- Withdrawing from a previously enjoyed social life
- Overall negative change in mood, such as expressing irritation over situations that would have previously been ignored
- Loss of appetite or cravings with weight gain
- Changes in sleep patterns including inability to sleep well at night or sleeping too much or too little
- Expressing feelings of worthlessness or being a burden
As you can see – the symptoms vary widely and can be at either end of the spectrum (i. e. sleeping too much or too little.)
It is not unusual for elders to go through a period of depression while recovering from an illness (such as your mom’s stroke) or surgery. She may be worried that she will have another stroke with more serious consequences. Illnesses, especially those accompanied by chronic pain or that limit mobility; feelings of loneliness due to loss of friends or family members who have passed away; concern about financial problems; and fear of declining health and dying can also contribute to depression in the elderly.
The good news is that almost half of elders recover from episodic depression without intervention; but that statistic means that half do require help. Talking to your mom’s health care provider is a good place to start, but do not assume the immediate answer is anti-depressant medication. According to researchers at Duke University Medical Center, exercising three times per week can relieve and even cure the symptoms of elderly depression. The study claims that walking, light aerobics, or swimming may be as effective as the leading medications; and exercise does not produce the side effects that often accompany prescription drugs. Even though your mom has arthritis, her doctor should be able to suggest safe activities.
It is unfortunate that feelings of depression cause a desire to withdraw from usual activities and social contacts, because seclusion only makes the depression worse. Gently encourage your mom to renew her interest in former activities. The more active she becomes, physically and mentally, the better she will feel. Urge your mom to eat a well-balanced diet, get a good night’s sleep, and take an afternoon nap if needed. Look for small ways to add fun and laughter to her day. Is there a long-forgotten hobby she could renew or even a new one she could discover? Encourage her to talk about any concerns she may have concerning the future and provide the assurance she needs.
Keep in touch with her doctor. If your mother’s mental status does not improve in the coming weeks, it may be time to consider an antidepressant. If so, ask a lot of questions, especially about side effects and benefits.
In the meantime, let the sunshine in, play uplifting music, keep the conversation upbeat, and express your love in words and gestures.
Caring Quote: “Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.”