Caregiver to Caregiver

While our family was serving as urban missionaries in Brooklyn, New York, we had the privilege of getting to know another family who had “felt the call” to minister in that area. The couple, along with their two teenage children, had left their farm out West to serve on staff at a drug rehabilitation center. We had some great times of fellowship during their four-year term and kept in touch after they returned home.

This lovely family had been back on their farm for less than a year when I received a letter from the wife. It was the day before Thanksgiving, and though I was busy with preparations, I stopped to read her always-welcome correspondence. When I tore open the envelope, a piece of paper fell out onto the floor and I retrieved it, noting it was a newspaper clipping. Opening it, I was shocked and saddened to see that it was a newspaper copy of her daughter’s obituary. Through my tears, I read the letter. The daughter, now 21 and a student, was returning to nursing school on a Sunday afternoon after a weekend at home. As she drove along a vast expanse of divided highway in that sparsely populated area, a 91-year old woman who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s was going the wrong way. She hit this young girls’ car head-on; both of them died instantly.

This happened before I became a caregiver or a nurse, but I remember asking myself, “Why was this woman allowed to drive?” This was a tragedy that should have, and could have been prevented.

The privilege of driving is held in high-esteem from age sixteen throughout adult life. Most people respect this right, but driving-related accident statistics reveal many abuse it.

In memory of this life lost too early, today I appeal to caregivers of those who have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or other dementias to seriously consider what steps should be taken to protect your loved one from a similar incident.

Safe driving requires competence, concentration, spatial skills, and a quick reaction time. These abilities tend to decline with age and along with other cognitive functions can slowly – or in some cases, radically – deteriorate when dementia is part of the equation. Available research suggests that driving with Alzheimer’s increases involvement in vehicle accidents. Studies have also shown that drivers with even mild dementia are more prone to miscalculations on the road and have twice as many “close calls” as drivers who do not have dementia.

The American Academy of Neurology reports that one of the best predictors of diminished driving ability is a caregiver’s assessment. If the caregiver, especially a spouse, deems that his or her loved one with dementia is no longer a safe driver, the caregiver is probably accurate. This professional medical society suggests asking this question: “Would you feel safe having your children or grandchildren driven by this person?” If your answer is “no” they recommend that it is time for your loved one to retire from driving.

Making this decision can be difficult for the caregiver and loved one, but not making it can have dire consequences.