Caregiver to Caregiver

Last summer I was leisurely strolling through my Tuesday-only store. That would be the discount department store which offers a discount to senior citizens one day of the week (Tuesday) and I enjoy taking advantage of their generosity. It only saves me ten percent, but I look at it as a no-tax purchase and that gives me pleasure. On the other hand, due to my prudent spending habits, I feel compelled to shop there only on the day of the discount.

Usually I can find “just what I need” even when many stores shelves are a little on the lean side because of the pandemic. Since I have taken the de-clutter pledge, I shop much less and buy only what is on my list, which I scrupulously consider before stepping foot in the store. Most of the time. 

Still, I always check the cosmetic section – just in case. This area is eclectic and can be unkempt – but I have found some great bargains. After placing the five-dollar night cream (it would have been at least twice as much elsewhere) in the cart, I decided to check out the “home section” where I have found numerous treasures including most of the throws that I turn into snugglies.

Was it Providence that caused me to glance at the “hair accessory” section as I headed down the aisle? My eyes landed on a display of “claw hair clips.” I was drawn to one in particular – a set of three – one in shiny tortoise shell, one in matte tortoise shell, and the third in a subdued leopard print. (Full disclosure – until I started writing this, I had always just called them “hair clips” but with a little help from Google, I just discovered they are officially “claw hair clips.”) They were priced at $3.99. With that ten percent discount, they would only be approximately $3.99, including tax. I had never used them, but considered if they didn’t work for me, I could pass them on to a daughter/granddaughter. I bought them.

That was six months ago, and those clips have saved me literally hours that I would have spent washing, drying, curling and styling my hair. Besides, Randy says he loves my hair “up.” I guess that’s a rather pithy description of what I do with those little plastic clips.

So, what have I done with the time I have saved? I do hope I have put it to good use. It does encourage me to exercise more often because I no longer have to wash my hair every time I sweat.

We all have the same amount of time – but very different responsibilities. Learning to use our time wisely does not happen by accident. I cringe when I recall how much time I have wasted in my life. Through the years I have improved in this area. As we grow older, we are reminded that we do not have all the time in the world – an idyllic notion often entertained in the minds of the young.

When I first became a caregiver, it seemed there would never be enough time to accomplish the long list of daily activities that were necessities. Where would I ever find time to take care of Daddy and still fulfill my responsibilities to my husband and children – not to mention have some time for myself? 

One of the articles I wrote for my newspaper column was “Plan, Prioritize, Pray.” That got me in trouble with the editor who considered “pray” a word that should not be used in a how-to column – even a how-to column for caregivers. In hindsight, he may have had a point. Definitely, it should have been, “Pray, Plan, Prioritize.” 

In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus instructs us: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33

As I have put this charge into practice through the years, I can testify that it works. Loving and serving Jesus should be the first thing in our lives…not what we do if we have time left over from our “important” endeavors.

When I seek Jesus first, it is as if He helps me use my time wisely in other areas. Following is a plan for using your time wisely and accomplishing everything that has to be done as well as favorite activities. Begin by categorizing all you have to do into three lists:

• Have to do – includes meeting all physical needs of your recipient including medication administration, doctor’s appointments and daily hygiene; taking care of family needs such as providing meals, laundry and keeping a tidy house; taking care of yourself on a daily basis.
• Really should do – these must be done on a regular basis but there is more slack in the time-line: clean the refrigerator, deep-clean the bathrooms, wash the windows etc.
• Would like to do – includes hobbies, social life, special projects such as organizing family photos, sporting activities etc.

Here is how the plan works.

• Perform in this order: “have to do,” “really should do,” and “would like to do.” This way, after you complete the “have to’s,” you can tackle the “should do’s” with the motivation of knowing that when you complete them, you can sneak in a few “like to’s.”
• When you are in the middle of a “have to” and notice a “really should do” – resist unless the task will take less than five minutes. As long as you do this only occasionally, you will keep on schedule while accomplishing short onerous jobs.
• Reward yourself when you complete tasks ahead of schedule by taking some time to relax, instead of squeezing in one more task that can wait.
• Always allow a “contingency” of time (just like money in a renovation budget). Do not try to fit so much in that you find yourself always hurrying and stressed.
• Prayerfully consider what activities you participate in are wasters of time and energy – stop doing them.
• If there’s something really calling you, decide that you will finish the necessary project first, then fit the other activity in as your reward – great motivation.
• Spread out big chores so as not to overwhelm – maybe one strenuous project a week.
• Don’t forget to keep well-hydrated and energized through good nutrition, exercise and as much sleep as you can fit into your schedule to reach the amount your body needs each night (probably between 6-9 hours) – including afternoon naps if your nighttime sleep is frequently interrupted.
• Do not vilify yourself when you are unable to check off everything on your to do list. Do the best you can. There are few positions that are actually 24-7 and caregiving is one of them. Remember that taking care of yourself, your care recipient and your family should be your priorities – after first seeking God.

Caring Quip: Just wanted to share a New Year’s resolution I made: Never again buy mascara and lip gloss in tubes that look alike. It’s time consuming to remove ruby flame lip gloss from my eyelashes…and sable brown lips are not becoming on me.